


I'll Find My Way Back To You

by MiraculouslyHopeful



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chat Noir is older than Ladybug, Cheek Kisses, Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Growing Apart, Ladybug's in denial, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Oneshot, Pre-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, So much angst, Soulmates, fears, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27952700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculouslyHopeful/pseuds/MiraculouslyHopeful
Summary: He's leaving soon.He's leaving soon and there's nothing Ladybug can do about it.He always wanted her to reciprocate his feelings, but in the end, it may just be too much for her to take.What do you do when you finally find your soulmate and they leave?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Ladybug/Chat Noir
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	I'll Find My Way Back To You

Tik, tok. Tik, tok.

With each passing day the clock ticked by. 

Marinette tried not to think about it too much. All it ever did was set off her anxiety and bring her to tears. Not only was time running out, but the metaphorical clock she held within her heart grew heavier and heavier with each passing week. It wasn’t a surprise by any means; she’d known it was coming. All of Paris had known.

Six months. She had six months until it happened, she might as well make the most of them.

___________________________________

Four months left.

It seemed like just yesterday she had so much longer. And yet the clock kept ticking by with no plans to stop.

Some might say she was overreacting. A lot of people would shake their heads and move on. But not Marinette. Her anxiety grew each day, as did the number of tears she shed during those late nights when she let her mind wander. For a girl who was always dreaming, dread hit her like a trainwreck. And anyone who knew this feeling would understand in a heartbeat. If only someone like that could walk into her life.

But she had nothing to help her except the remaining time she had left.

___________________________________

Two months.

Wow oh wow could fear haunt a person.

It wasn’t just the overthinking and worry anymore, Marinette had another awful feeling overtaking her. When you’re caught in between trying to spend every moment pushing the thought out of your head, but also attempting to figure out what you’ll do when it does inevitably happen. The day wasn’t far, and the poor girl could feel it looming over her, taunting her like a kid in a game of tag.

There were only two months left.

___________________________________

A month.

One single month.

One month until her fear would become a reality. So logically, she spent every moment she could doing what made her heart happy. The sad, knowing look in Tikki’s eyes was one of the most difficult things to see in her life, her whole seventeen years of living. Not that she had much time to linger on it, as she spent most of her free time transformed.

That didn’t mean it was any less difficult for the heroine. Despite her constant attempts to convince herself that this was all her overthinking brain, she was  _ hurting _ . She wished she could tell her mother and father so they could wrap her up in blankets and bring her tea and tell her everything was going to be okay, just like they did when she was a little girl. She knew that she was doing more harm to herself by her nonstop worrying, but nothing could change that. It was kept to herself because she knew everyone would give her a look and tell her she shouldn’t be so stressed, that this was nothing compared to  _ their  _ pain at seventeen.

Well, those people have obviously never had a soulmate.

___________________________________

The final day had arrived,

Ladybug bounded over the rooftops, breathing in the summer night air. She was on her way to meet her partner with her heart full of dread, not prepared for what was to come. Never once in their partnership did they think they wouldn’t be together. They weren’t a couple or anything, but Ladybug and Chat Noir were close, and she considered him her soulmate. The thought of not hearing his laugh or seeing his goofy smile every day made her heart ache.

Chat Noir was eighteen, and he was moving to New York.

Loving and to be loved is a treasured gift, but it brings fear with it. Fear that they’ll leave, fear that you’ll grow apart, fear that one day they’ll wake up and realize that they don’t love you anymore. When Hawkmoth was defeated, Ladybug and Chat Noir had reached out to each other. Ladybug insisted on holding off on the reveal, knowing that new enemies could approach in the future. But this didn’t stop them from talking every few days, discussing anything and everything they wanted to. Slowly and unnoticeably, their talks became daily. Opening up to each other and getting even closer was something neither of them thought possible, until it happened. She wasn’t quite sure where Chat Noir’s heart was romantically, and over the past year or so, she found herself caring. Her own affections were unknown as well, but she tried not to dwell on it too much. What good would it do her? It would only make his leaving all the more painful if she possibly…no. No way.

She blinked, trying (and failing) to clear her thoughts. Her eyes darted to the top of Montparnasse Tower, immediately spotting her kitty. His expression was different than his usual welcoming smile, and her heart sank at the sight of his shiny eyes. The moment was here, this was real. She couldn’t pretend any longer. 

_ Inhale, exhale _ . Ladybug took a deep breath and stopped the fog starting to form in her eyes as she approached her partner. They stood at opposite ends of the tower when she landed, neither saying or doing anything. That was, until Chat spread his arms wordlessly.

And that’s when Ladybug hit her breaking point.

She let out a sob, her cheeks already soaking as she threw herself forward, landing in his comforting embrace. She began to cry hysterically, Chat gently drawing his claws up and down her back in a soothing manner. Part of her was embarrassed; he had never seen her like this. Geez, she hoped with everything she had that he didn’t think this was unnecessary. She knew Chat wasn’t like that, but again, the fear that comes with love is everlasting. The only thing keeping her sane was him and his touch, and she wouldn’t have that after tonight.

When she grew quieter and the sound of her shaky breathing could be heard, he spoke. “You know I’ll visit every weekend. Our space power ups allow us to do that.”

Ladybug shook her head, burying it further into his chest and inhaling his scent. “But it won’t be the same,” she murmured, her voice cracking on the last word. She sucked in a sharp breath, fresh air filling her lungs.

“It was never going to,” he whispered back, holding her close and resting his head atop hers. She could have sworn she felt tears that weren’t hers drip onto her face, but she refused to leave her position in his arms to check. 

They both fell silent, Chat leaning down and laying a featherlight kiss to her forehead. Ladybug’s heart fluttered and she bit her lip to try to hold in her many more tears. No. She couldn’t love him romantically. Not when he was going to New York and she was staying here in Paris for her final year of lycée. 

Damn the age difference between them. It may only be a year, but at seventeen and eighteen, it was a barrier. It wouldn’t be bad if they were older and not in school, but at this age, they couldn’t do anything but deal with everything that separated them. And the undeniable fact that her heart longed for him made it so much worse. She didn’t know if he loved her anymore, and did it even matter?

Ladybug let out a long sigh, and lifted her head to look at Chat’s face. His eyes were closed and there were tear tracks down his cheeks. She slowly reached up and wiped them away, his eyes opening to stare down at her when she did so. He exhaled and swallowed heavily. “I hate to leave. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Ladybug.”

Ladybug’s eyes welled up again and she clung to him tighter as they slowly sank to the ground. “I’m happy you’re going to live a better life in New York, I know you haven’t been the same since Hawkmoth’s reveal and defeat, but I-” she stopped, choking on her own words. “I love what we have right now, a-and I don’t want to grow apart.” She gasped, trying to regain steady breathing. Despite the misery residing in both heroes, the moment was tranquil, and she didn’t ever want it to end.

Her breath halted again when she felt her chin being lifted gently. Blue eyes met green and Ladybug’s heart leapt, no matter how much she tried to suppress it. He leaned in so subtly that she didn’t notice until their faces were only inches apart. Chat smiled sadly and pressed his lips to her damp cheek. Her eyes closed and she felt her chest squeeze, torn between feeling loved and feeling like it would be snatched away from her. 

“I knew you would take it hard but,” Chat let out an uneven chuckle. “Is it bad that I feel honored that you’ll miss your partner this much?”

Ladybug let out a huff of annoyance and disbelief. “Oh my gosh you stupid cat, do you really not know?” She flinched after the last word, realizing that she had never been this close to saying this to anyone out loud, not even to Tikki.

“Know what?” his ears pricked up with interest.

She considered this. Should she tell him? Wait, what? There was something to tell him now? Ugh, she needed her heart to shut up. She knew it was a bad idea to admit her shifting feelings when they were about to be seperated but something in her told her it would be worth it. Worth it to see the look on his face if she admitted that her heart danced at his touch, and that it was in his arms when she felt safest.

But she couldn’t bring herself to risk more pain than she was already being forced to.

“I’ll miss my best friend, not just my partner.” The words came tumbling out automatically, and she felt disappointment settle in her chest. But maybe it was for the best.

His expression turned soft and he smiled at her.  _ Why didn’t I notice that his smile was so beautiful all these years?  _ ‘I’ll miss you too, My Lady.”

Ladybug’s heart tightened the tiniest bit at the nickname, but was forgotten when Chat’s emerald eyes misted over again and his lips formed into a straight line, as if it was the only thing keeping him from breaking down. “My flight is early tomorrow. I’m sorry, My Lady, but I have to leave soon.”

Her eyes tried to form tears, but they couldn’t. She didn’t have any left to pour out. So she just nodded and curled up against him, trying to be as close to him as possible. Chat squeezed her tightly, and they spent the last few minutes they had just holding each other, trying to memorize how the other felt in their grasp. With one last deep breath, Chat took her hands and stood up, lifting her up with him.

_ Inhale, exhale _ . Ladybug swallowed and forced herself not to dry sob. Her heart calling out to her, she couldn’t resist the urge to stand on her toes and leave a kiss on his cheek. She knew it might be a mistake, but her gut told her she would regret it if she didn’t. She let her lips linger for a little longer before pulling away, a tiny, trembling smile gracing her face. “I really am happy you get to go, Chat. I know it seems like I’m not with all the crying but...I genuinely am excited for you to live a better life there.”

He gave her a gentle look. “I know, My Lady.” He pulled her to him and she hugged him with every bit of strength she had left. It lasted for a minute until Chat broke away. “I’ll see you this weekend, I promise.” He paused, looking like he was gathering the courage to actually leave. “Goodbye Ladybug.” He hesitated, “I love you.” He turned and vaulted off into the night, the sight of his parting tears illuminated in the moonlight.

Ladybug’s eyes stung as she looked out at his figure disappearing into the darkness. “I love you too,” she whispered, only to go unheard.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *wipes nervous sweat* well, this is the most angst I've ever written
> 
> THANK YOU TO THE WHOLE LADYNOIR GROUP CHAT FOR SUPPORTING ME ENDLESSLY! ILYSM!
> 
> Thanks for reading this <3
> 
> Follow me on Instagram: @miraculouslyhopeful  
> And Discord: @MiraculouslyHopeful (#2135)


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